The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
