i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
