Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
