I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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