Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
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