My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
