Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
