My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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