i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
