I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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