Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I could fuck to npr.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
