I hate your face
my phone needs a breathalizer
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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