p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
