Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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