I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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