period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
