get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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