I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
