Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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