well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
