love makes seman taste better
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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