Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
