we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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