I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
