She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
sex in a hospital.. check
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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