Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
