Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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