Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
