Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
