We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
