I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
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