i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
