worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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