Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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