Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Will exercising make me less horny?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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