take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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