K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
So. Much. Porn.
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