I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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