Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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