Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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