I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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