I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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