I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
