For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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