She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
