i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
