arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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