I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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