my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
