Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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